


now you're gone

by orphan_account



Series: stay [4]
Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Angst, Break Up, M/M, ex-lovers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 14:45:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 893
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8717959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “Okay, stop it” he spits “Is there something you need? Because I’m having a hard enough time trying to get you out of my fucking head” (title taken from "miss missing you" by fall out boy)





	

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry this took so long to update. many shenanigans ensued incluiding me being unmotivated and stressed out by school. it's here now though.
> 
> this was originally a really long chapter that got split into 2 parts, so expect another part of the series really soon.

Gerard isn’t surprised when he wakes up, alone, to the feeling that absolutely nothing’s changed, nothing’s been fixed. He buries his face in the pillow and fantasizes about disappearing. Lately it’s been like there’s this hole in his chest that air goes in and out of, chafing the walls of his heart or something. When it burns too much, it makes his eyes sting with tears. And he’d thought he was a sad fucker _before_ Frank left him.

Seeing him at school is plain torture. Weeks go by and Gerard realizes there’s no chance they are even ‘just friends’ at this point because they don’t talk, not since the last time they fucked. Frank goes around, looks happy, hangs with the in-gang like before they dated, and rumors of him frequently hooking up with different people start going around again. Plain torture.

People at school quickly get accustomed to referring to him as ‘that freaky guy Frank Iero used to date’, not even bothering to keep him from hearing (and he definitely can’t see Frank doing anything in his power to stop them). When he and Frank had been together, though, things were much different: parties, smiles, stupid fucking instagram likes, people saying how they were adorable together behind their back and to their faces. Gerard feels like a tool for missing it.

He tries really hard, he really does, but he can’t remember how he could feel not-empty before Frank. He hangs out with his same old dorky friends sometimes, but they just don’t do it for him. Frank took him places, told him stories, made out with him in backseats, in cinemas, in gigs, made him dizzy with adrenaline and warm with affection. Sitting around in Ray’s bedroom just doesn’t measure up.

He starts skipping school. His friends barely notice anyway, he’d drifted away from them quite a bit while he was dating Frank, and he just can’t be bothered to deal with seeing Frank every day, he really can’t. He has it bad enough when he isn’t suddenly spotting his gorgeous fucking smile every now and then.

He’s found this park that he likes to spend time at, it’s quite far from his house and almost always empty. It takes him a while to get there from school. Generally, he just chain-smokes until he feels dizzy or nauseous, since he’s never been much of a smoker until now. He sees how many cigarettes he can finish in one go, and he loves how he can just feel his lungs getting shittier every day. It’s probably some softcore version of self-harm, whatever, at least people can’t see your shitty lungs, get scared, and break up with you.

Today, he manages to finish eight cigarettes before he has to balance himself against a tree and ends up sitting down. It has rained all night and the earth is damp under his jeans, probably staining it. He has a hard time believing people out there actually manage to smoke a pack or so a day.

“You smoke now. That’s new” Gerard recognizes that voice instantly.

When he turns, Frank is ogling him with a shy smirk in his face and a certain amount of tenderness in his eyes. He looks so stupidly good it hurts. When Gerard doesn’t say anything, he looks down and clears his throat.

“Uh, sorry to come onto you just like that” he says, words stumbling out of his mouth “I know I’ve been acting a bit weird, I just want you to know it’s nothing, uh, personal, you know. Sorry about that.”

Gerard simply stares in wonder. He can’t understand how Frank, after ignoring him for days, expected him to just forgive him right off the bat. But mostly, he can’t understand that pull in his chest telling him to forgive him, right then and there

“Hadn’t noticed you’ve been acting weird, really” he looks away, playing hard to get instead. He can’t let Frank know how much he misses him.

“Hm. Is that so?” he can tell by the tone of his voice that Frank is not buying it.

“Okay, stop it” he spits “Is there something you need? Because I’m having a hard enough time trying to get you out of my fucking head” his voice breaks at the end of the phrase, and he wishes he’d sounded angrier, more confident.

“Oh” something shifts in Frank’s eyes “I, actually, uh… can I bum one?” he says, and nods towards the pack in Gerard’s pocket.

Gerard doesn’t speak as he hands him a cigarette and a lighter. He looks away and hears Frank light it and inhale.

“I’m glad I found you here, actually” he says after a moment. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

Gerard still isn’t looking at him, as he lightly lays his head against the tree. “What is it?” he sighs; annoyed, hopeful, terrified. Frank takes a drag before answering.

“Look at me” he says, “turn around”. And Gerard does.

All of a sudden, Frank looks different than he’s ever looked before, Gerard thinks. He’s not his Frank, the one he fell in love with, but he’s also not the stupid façade he wears around everybody else. He looks older, wiser even. Somehow, he looks both happy and sad.

“I’m leaving Belleville” he says as he looks Gerard in the eye.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! kudos and comments are always appreciated x


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